The Stupidity of a Pokemon Trainer
by Marozard
Summary: Have you ever seen something happen on any Pokemon Game where you just thought, "Man that's stupid?" A world where a Chatot can carry a trainer through the air? Not in this story. Series of Oneshots.
1. HM03: Surf

Disclaimer: I do not own Pokemon or any of the games.

A/N: Guess what, Writer's Block again :P I'm supposed to be working on Void but I don't have it thought out like Berlitz. So until my friend comes over to help me out, I decided to start this story. Ok, this story is a story I wrote cause my friend in real life wanted to, and what he had to say was pretty funny. This story basically makes fun of the video games, basically, things overlooked by the Game Creators so it won't be an epic adventure like my other stories in the works.

* * *

Ch. 1: HM 3: Surf

"Congratulations on your victory!"

Fantina said with a smile in her heavy accent, flourishing her hand to produce the Relic Badge. Winston observed the badge in his hand with a grin and spun around holding it up in the air with a wink. The badge shone in the little light the gym provided.

"I got the Relic Badge!"

He cried out much to the gym leader's amusement. He turned around to face her and pushed his glasses up onto his face, his bright green eyes looking on with anticipation. He was a little young to be a trainer but they came of all ages, depending on who the people responsible for handing out pokemon saw fit. She held out a disk gingerly between two fingers, no smaller than an Oran Berry.

"This is TM 65, it will teach your pokemon Shadow Claw, and because you have this badge, you're pokemon can now use Surf! Tre magnifique!"

Winston scratched his head, tossling his long sandy hair in the process.

"What's Surf?"

"Surf is the move that allows you to ride on your pokemon through the water. In battle, it can be quite devastating in the right situations."

He grinned and nodded, rushing out of the gym towards the platforms, seeing him run off, she felt a nagging feeling in the back of her head.

"Maybe I should have told him-?" she thought. "Non! Any trainer with the right amount of brains vould know better than to do that."

Satisfied she started to stroll out of the gym to go to the Hearthome Contest Arena.

* * *

Now back in Jubilife thanks to the Sinnoh Tram, Winston grinned and threw out his freshly caught pokemon.

"Go Shellos!"

A small pink pokemon with small stubby legs smiled at him. Large yellow lips on its face and a wrinkled neck which could have meant it was longer than it looked at first glance. Its skin grew harder as it went to the back of its body until it became a shell with spikes assorted on it. She paddled a little in the shallow water waiting for her trainer's command.

"Lets try Surf!"

As he shouted the command, he leaped off the dock without warning and onto the small pokemon's back. With wide eyes, she sank into the surf. When she hit the bottom, the still ignorant boy on her back, she grunted and stretched out her neck in an effort to move forward. This, however, turned out to be completely pointless as her trainer acted as an anchor, keeping her firmly in place. She panted a little. Didn't anyone tell him that this move was for larger pokemon?

Meanwhile, the boy realized that they were going nowhere when he felt the air in his lungs run out and he swam hastily back to the dock.

* * *

Shellos sighed, looking backwards, wondering if this trainer was indeed ready for pokemon training. She held a hand-crafted bridle in her mouth which was attached to a rope which was attached to a piece of wood the boy held in her hands. He stood on top of make-shift waterskis torn from the docks themselves. He yelled out once more,

"Lets try Surf again!"

Shellos shot forward, though a slow pokemon on land, her water locomotion, like many water-types, was astounding. Her long neck shooting forward propelled her body and as the trainer moved forward off the docks, the misjudgment in balance from the hastily made skis, caused him to fall flat on his face. But Shellos didn't feel this and kept going, and the boy still holding on to the wood was unfortunately pulled along.

* * *

John whistled, he loved to fish and even though he didn't always catch, as in with a pokeball, the pokemon he wanted, he loved the challenge of pulling the pokemon out of the water, battling it, then trying to catch it. To him it was a 3-in-1 challenge, 4-in-1 if you were looking for a pokemon in particular, and this happened to be one of those days.

"C'mon psyduck." He mumbled under his breath, "Time to meet your new master."

Suddenly a wave of water shot by, moving his bobber and splashing him. He sputtered and stood up, staring wide-eyed after it.

"What in the name of Arceus?"

He asked, noticing a piece of rope flailing after it.

* * *

Winston had let go for a long time and had been swimming for a while, when he spotted something floating in the water. He assumed that Shellos had noticed he let go and had decided to wait for him to catch up. He grabbed the bobber and sunk into the water, waiting to be pulled upright again.

* * *

John returned his attention to the line when the distraction had left, suddenly noticing that the top of the rod was bending forward in response to the line being pulled. He pulled hard, grunting at the weight, as Winston's head stuck out, the sandy hair came into view. Naturally making the fisherman assume he'd caught a,

"Psyduck!"

He stopped for a moment, he'd heard about Psyducks, they could use their psychic abilities and send him flying off before he had reeled it halfway in, or, he could save himself the trouble and just throw the pokeball. He decided to go with the latter and threw the pokeball at the yellow surface. The ball slammed into it and bounced off as Winston floated onto his back with a large red lump on his forehead, staring up at the sky with wide-eyes.


	2. The Daycare Couple

A/N: By the way, it's a different character in every chapter, sort of like Pokemon Chronicles, however if I get enough questions about one char in particular, I'll probably write something else about them to clear things up or just for popular demand. Warning, sexual references, but no sex!

* * *

Ch.2: The Day Care Couple

The old man grinned, holding out a yellow egg with black bolts etched across the shell. The boy took it willingly, he had to be around 16 years old. An African American (Even though Africa doesn't exist in this world) by the looks of it with fadedblack hair. His brown eyes looked gratefully at the man.

"Well, we have no idea how it got there, but when we went to check on your pokemon, this egg was there!"

The old man exclaimed, otherwise known as Old Man Daycare, the boy blinked as he held the egg staring at the man dumbfounded.

"You... have no idea? No idea whatsoever how the egg got there?"

Old Man Daycare grinned and nodded, still blissfully unaware.

"Ok, how do you think it got there?"

He answered it as though it was the easiest question in the world.

"Your pokemon found it."

"And it happened to be the exact same color as the pokemon who found it?"

He nodded, still not comprehending what the boy was trying to get him to understand and that there could be no way something like that could be possible.

"Ok let me rephrase the question... How do you think the egg was created?"

"Well," The man started, reminiscing how his father told him back in the day. "The great pelipper messenger of the Great Arceus swoops down from the sky, its beak filled with all the eggs it could carry and hid them all over the land for pokemon to find and hatch."

The boy, Damian, stared in disbelief. The man obviously had no idea how children were made which explained the lack of children around the daycare.

"And your wife believes this is how pokemon are hatched too?"

He nodded, still grinning which seemed a bit idiotic to Damian at this point. He sighed, the two were due for a rude awakening.

"Do you mind if I stay here for a little while?"

* * *

Damian, Old Man Daycare, and Old Woman Daycare hid in a tall shrub, peeking out at the wide area where the pokemon were at play. But more specifically, they were out by the woods that still fenced in the area, a secluded area with a small clearing. Damian sweated, he really didn't feel comfortable watching what was about to go on but he felt the two needed to know. Old Man Daycare and Old Woman Daycare just stared on when two pokemon entered the clearing, a male Luxray and a female Lopunny walked into the clearing. Old Woman Daycare blinked and spoke. A little too loud for Damian's taste.

"Why are we watching them?"

"Shhh!" was his only response, silencing her as the two pokemon looked cautiously around. Luxray was obviously too preoccupied to use its special x-ray eyes so rather than dwelling on making sure there were no intruders, they went into the middle of the clearing. Lopunny bent over and-

* * *

Old Man Daycare's eyes widened in surprise as his wife hid her face behind her hands, peeping out between her gnarled fingers. Damian only grimaced, it was necessary.

"Doesn't that hurt?" Old Woman Daycare asked.

Damion grinned, almost chuckling at the question.

"Actually, quite the opposite."

Old Man Daycare blinked as he stared at the two, turning to the teenager.

"What's this have to do with eggs?"

Damion only shook his head.

"You'll see soon enough."

And indeed they did, the pair soon finished and Lopunny stepped away from the Luxray, sitting down for a moment, while concentrating hard. An hour passed by and Old Woman Daycare passed out while Old Man Daycare stared on at the spectacle until the proud mother held the egg between her paws and bounded off with the satisfied Luxray in tow. Damian nodded, he couldn't help but chuckle at the pair's reactions.

"And that's how eggs are made."

* * *

Damian left the next day and the trainer who owned the Lopunny and Luxray came by to pick up the pair. He was surprised when he found the man shaking, holding a brown and white egg with the tips of his fingers as if it was something dirty.

"C-C-C-Congratulations."

He said shakily, staring at the object with wide eyes. The trainer smiled and grabbed the egg.

"Wow I can't believe it!"

He shouted out laughing with happiness, hugging it. He turned to the man.

"I hope you'll be just as reliable with these two." he said, holding out two more pokeballs. The old man stumbled back, waving his hands in protest.

"N-No, in f-f-fact, me and the missus have decided we're long past due for retirement! Seeyalater!" he shouted, suitcase suddenly in hand with a hawaiian shirt on and a straw hat, running off in the distance. His wife finished hammering the "Out of Business" sign on the door and followed after him. The trainer scratched his head.

"What was that all about?"


	3. The Secret of the Lonely Old Woman

Ch. 3: The Secret Of The Lonely Old Woman

Chris yawned, stretching out his arms, his bronze skin covered in sweat and shining in the light. He looked up at the sky where the moon was just starting to rise and realized he'd been out longer than expected. He raised his pokeball and aimed it at his Machamp who was punching a tree as part of his training, the red beam instantly recalled him and he walked wearily up the trail. He knew that it'd take about a day to get up Mt. Chimney before he reached Fallarbor. Sleeping outside was also out of the question due to the ashes that drifted down from the mountain, even as far from the peak as he was.

Just when he started to give up hope, he spotted smoke lazily rising from a cabin. He walked towards the smoke, his spirits lifting. Maybe this stranger would be kind enough to let in a wary traveler, maybe let him get a bite to eat so he'd have enough energy to trek on. He knocked on the door and waited expectantly. It opened and on the other side was an old woman, hunched over with age. Her hair was a dull gray which matched her expression. A few wispy hairs fell on the side of her face. She blinked at him, having to crane her neck to look up at his face to get a good look. Her eyes widened and before he could even get a word out, she beckoned him in.

"Come in! Come in! You must be tired! Lets give you and your pokemon a rest."

She showed him the only bed in the small cabin and before he could even say anything else, she pushed him on the bed, just hard enough for him to topple backwards. She then attacked him, sheets in hand and wrapped him up. At first he was quite afraid of this surprising display before he looked at her face. What he saw was a lonely old soul, kind and willing to help. Her eyes twinkled as he looked on and he shrugged, just letting his head sink into the pillow.

* * *

Justin shifted in his sleep, it was what people called, "The Witching Hour." The time where Ghost Pokemon would float around at night, he hoped that he would never encounter any such pokemon. He heard the air conditioning turning on above him and he blinked.

"Wait," he thought. "since when does a cabin have air conditioning?"

He opened one eye and looked up, a wrinkled mouth met his sight. He bolted upwards, almost hitting the poor woman in the face in the process, she stepped back a couple of times and looked as though she was guilty of something before smiling at him.

"I was only making sure you're having a nice sleep dear. Now come come! Your pokemon must need more rest! Yes, you must stay here with me!" she said.

He was so willing to get back to sleep and leave the next morning that he didn't even care what she was doing and soon drifted off once more.

* * *

Scratching met his ears, the sounds of nails clawing at a hard wood floor. He looked up for the second time that night and found that his jacket had been removed. The woman was now sitting in a wooden chair, his jacket in both hands and her face burrowed in it. Taking in deep breathes, he hastily got up, maybe she'd be so drawn into what she was doing, that she'd ignore the fact that he was leaving. But this hope was soon dashed in pieces. She looked up at the sound of feet on the floor and hustled to him.

"Come, come! Your pokemon must need rest! Yes, you must stay here with me!" She repeated from before.

Justin shook his head and took a few steps back, reaching for the door. She snorted, her eyes turning a dark ruby red and raised her arms. Her form changing into a round form with wisps drifting from it. The gastly grinned and opened her mouth, wider and wider while the last words Justin ever heard floated through his head.

"You must stay here with me!"

* * *

Brendon ran up the road, using his vest to shield his head from the rain. He knocked furiously on the cabin door, and as the door opened, an elderly man and elderly woman answered and smiled at him.

* * *

A/N: My friend asked me to put a sort of "ghost story" on here about the creepy old lady who lives in the cabin on the games. Sure she heals your pokemon but if you're not paying attention and you just press A over and over, than you keep sleeping until you're like, "What the hell? Why is she still talking?"


	4. The Conspiracy

A/N: The idea for this chapter goes to Rudiment Goldbrick, well as far as the not being able to walk through trees and stuff :3 (Decided to leave the kecleon part out, hope you don't mind ') But as far as it goes, it's basically the same as the trees so I couldn't make a new chapter for it. But I also couldn't fit it into this chapter.

* * *

Ch. 4 The Conspiracy

"Hurray! Today I start my pokemon journey!"

Red cried as he leaped into the air out of bed, walking down the stairs, past his mother who was absentmindedly watching tv. The music that usually got on his nerves which played everywhere he went didn't seem to bother him. In fact, he even hummed along with it as he approached the tall grass. Before he could take a step, an old man ran up and stopped him, grabbing him by the arm.

"Wait! You can't go in there! You might get attacked by a wild pokemon!"

Red blinked and waved his arm over by the grass.

"Uh, there's no pokemon in sight."

To prove this he ignored the old man's warning and stepped into the grass. Suddenly, there was rapid flashing and the music that constantly played sped up. His eyes widened as a pidgey slid into view in front of him. Other than that there was no movement from it. It stayed in the air with its wings wide open. Red poked it in alarm, the world had disappeared and there was nothing but white. He looked at the pidgey and found next to it, there was a,

"What the hell is this?" He asked wide-eyed, poking the white rectangle with the green line, representing its health. He shook it, there was no response from the pidgey. After the experiment, he grabbed it and threw it, and the pidgey flickered and disappeared. He was back in front of the grass with the old man grabbing his arm.

"You might get attacked by a wild pokemon!"

Red blinked and looked around. What had just happened? He never got a chance to answer however before he was pulled by the arm down the road towards a large white building.

* * *

Red stepped out of the lab, he had just obtained a pokemon and beaten Blue from across the street, but why wasn't he happy? He still wondered about what happened when he stepped in the tall grass. He'd always been warned not to go into the tall grass but never questioned why. When he watched TV, it never showed a battle happen like that. His head suddenly snapped up, he'd also been warned not to go into the woods around Pallet Town. He walked to the trees and touched the bark.

"Nothing strange here." He murmured as he rubbed the tree. He decided maybe it wasn't the outside of the forest but what was inside that provoked the warnings. He tried to walk around but bumped his face into thin air.

"What the-?" he asked before he tried again, finding some sort of barrier preventing him from going into the woods. A bit jarred, he ran home, the door bursting open before he found his mother still in front of the tv.

"Mom!" he shouted, running to shake her. "Mom! Something weird's going on!"

His mom didn't turn around and kept staring at what seemed to be a blank screen.

"Mom?"

She sat frozen, her eyes in a fixed stare. He finally gave up and ran up the stairs. What was going on? He ran to the phone by the computer, he had to report this. When he looked at his TV where his NES was plugged up, the answer came to him. He dialed a number and waited.

"Hello?"

"We're trapped!"

"Excuse me?"

"We're all trapped in a video game!"

* * *

Bryan and John stared at the screen. The other day Bryan had gone out and bought Leafgreen for his Gameboy Advance and he was trying it out for the first time. John shook his head and looked at Bryce.

"Is that supposed to happen?"

Bryan could only stare at the screen and shake his head confused.

"I-I-I don't know."

On the screen, the main character's sprite had a white stripe in the middle which could only be a straitjacket because his stubby arms were no longer in view. Two other sprites dressed in white dragged him out of view from the screen while the bottom of the screen read the dialogue.

"I'm not crazy! We're all in a video game I tell you! A video game!"

A sprite in blue dragged the NES he was playing after them for evidence. As everyone went off-screen, Blue appeared on the screen and flashed a peace sign at the boys, his dialogue reading, "Yes! Now I'm the main character!"


	5. The Rare Rattata

AN: Ok, I tried, but lowercasing pokemon names when their used in common noun form just doesn't work for me. It looks so weird, I'm sorry to those who oppose, but all pokemon names will remained capitalized =]

* * *

Ch.5 The Rare Rattata

"C'mon pipsqueak, unless of course you're scared!"

It was graduation day in Viridian City for the students of the Academy for Aspiring Trainers but this didn't stop poor timid little Tim from being taunted again. The tiny young trainer had just turned 10 and had just graduated from the academy. He had caught his first pokemon a long time ago and found that he had been the target of many bullies because of it. Of course, being the only albino child in the history of the academy didn't help things either. He stared at his plain white tennis shoes, afraid to look at his opponent in the eye while his dull white hair hung over his pink eyes. His smale pale hands were twiddling their thumbs together while his old classmate John pushed him in the shoulder yet again.

"C'mon! Lets battle! Unless you're afraid to show that weak pokemon of yours."

"I-I'm n-n-not afraid." Tim said, his voice betraying his words. He swallowed and looked at John in the eye. With his shiny manageable brown hair and his bright green eyes, he looked almost the exact opposite of poor little Tim. His broad shoulders flexed as he crossed his arms and grinned at Tim.

"Then prove it."

Tim nodded, a quick motion that could've been mistaken for a twitch. He reached in his pocket and threw it in front of him, revealing his only pokemon, a Rattata. At this point, everyone in the academy had come out to watch the poor trainer's shame, even a couple of the teachers, and laughed at the weak pokemon, John being the loudest.

"Time to show you what a _real _pokemon looks like! Go Rhyhorn!"

The bulky rhino appeared in the middle of the ring of people right in front of the poor little rodent. It reared a front leg back into the dirt leaving a trail in the ground every time it did. It tossed its head, showing off its impressive horn to the spectators and snorted. With a gulp, Tim pointed a shivering arm towards the rock-type.

"T-T-Tackle Ratty..."

The purple rat nodded, chattering to show off its sharp teeth. It was determined to make its trainer proud. It ran as hard as its little white paws would allow it. Ratty lowered its head as it braced itself for impact and rammed Rhyhorn's rocky leg. This however turned out to be a terrible mistake. Its head still in the rhino's leg, Ratty stood still for a moment before falling over in the ground, defeated. After a moment of silence, everyone burst out laughing. John started to laugh so hard that tears were rolling down his cheeks. Even Rhyhorn joined in as it laughed heartily, its gruff voice sounding a lot like two boulders grinding together.

"What was that? You thought you could beat me with that weak pokemon?" John asked once he caught his breath. Tim ran up and cradled the unfortunate pokemon in his arms. His head remained bowed over the pokemon for a moment before his head snapped up. It was time.

"Ratty may not be strong, but at least it's rare!"

At this comment, everyone stopped laughing and stared at the boy. What could he be talking about? Everyone knew that you could find a Rattata everywhere food could be found. John finally spoke up after a minute.

"What are you talking about squirt? Everyone knows that you could find a Rattata everywhere there's junk to eat." he paused for a moment before looking somewhere in the distance adding, "Sorry, the narrator just said that."

Time cocked an eyebrow at the odd comment before speaking up,

"Think about it! Who has a Rattata? No one because they believe they're weak and useless. So in a way, doesn't that make them rare?"

No one could find an objection to this so they all murmured to one another before the boy added on to his explanation.

"Plus, the only reason you can find them everywhere is because nobody bothers to catch them. If everyone goes out and catches some, won't that make them rare pokemon?"

Once again, everyone stared dumbfounded as the murmuring grew louder before someone called out.

"I'M CATCHING A RATTATA!"

At this outburst, the crowd exploded (not literally), John returned his Rhyhorn as everyone scrambled to the Pokeshop to buy Pokeballs. Tim grinned, everything was going the way he planned since the first day of the academy. While everyone ran off towards Pallet Town. He started whistling, dropping his fake timid act and starting off on his Pokemon journey.

* * *

Ratat grinned to himself. Now this was the life of a Rattata. There was always food to eat, he never had to worry about being lonely, and they never had to worry about humans. who in their right mind would ever want a Rattata? Aside from new trainers every now and again, they had nothing to worry about. But just in case, he always had a hole to return to in case that ever happened. He sat on his haunches, gnawing at the hard shell of a nut he found nearby when he felt it. There was a strange shift in the air, he could feel it in his whiskers. He looked off in the distance of Viridian. It could be anything or nothing at all that could be causing this. Who knows? Maybe its a flock of Pidgeys taking off. He sniffed the air to make sure.

"This isn't a Pidgey_." _he thought to himself. Something was very wrong, and that's when he saw it. A huge crowd of trainers were heading straight towards the group of Rattata. There were dozens, no, hundreds, no thousands! Why would so many humans be coming this way? They were all throwing something. Maybe it was Feed a Rattata Day? He looked up in the air and his eyes widened, it wasn't food they were throwing, it was,

"RATTA RAT!" (RUN!)

He called out, pointing at the humans with a front paw as one of the objects hit him on the head, sucking him in. The swarm of Rattata turned in shock, people were actually trying to catch Rattata.

"I caught a Rattata!"

"No way! That one was mine!"

As a disturbance broke out among the trainers, the pokemon took action and all started to dash throughout the meadow. Hiding in the tall grass, climbing trees, diving in their holes, whatever it took to dodge the balls of confinement. The Pidgey however simply took off into the air. One of them was bold enough to pull down its bottom eyelid and sticking its tongue out at the group.

"Pidgey!" (Have fun being human pets!)

One Rattata stopped its scurrying and shook a paw at the flock.

"Rattata ratta! Rattata!" (Curse you Pidgey! Curse you!)

As it stopped to say this however, the rain of pokeballs continued once more and caught the rodent.

* * *

(What do we do about this?)

(What else can we do? We must attack the humans!)

(We can't risk it, they may have strong pokemon. We're going to have to dig.)

The remaining Rattata had all hidden themselves underground in an immense underground hideout. Using an underground messaging system, the Rattata in Pallet had informed all in Kanto what was going on. Apparently, the humans had gotten it in their heads that they were rare and had been spreading the news. People told friends, friends told family, family boasted to enemies until everyone stopped their quests for other pokemon to obtain their own collection of Rattata. Though the Rattata still had a good million left in their numbers, they still lost quite a few of their mates, children, and friends to the humans. So they had no choice but to dig, so started the Great Rattata Migration.

* * *

Tim held the pokeball shakily in his hand. For the first time in two months, he was facing off against his cocky rival John. John grinned and hurled his pokemon out.

"Go Ratat!"

The purple rat appeared in front of the albino boy, chattering at the boy. Tim gulped, he threw out his pokemon in front of him while his Raticate sat next to him. The pokeball burst open, a tall shape appearing in the grass. The pokemon was green and had two scythes for arms as it crossed them together furiously, sharpening them.

"Ratat, Tackle!"

The rat ran towards Scyther, but the bug pokemon yawned and turned its arm, showing the flat of its blade as the rodent ran head first into it. Ratat fell flat on its face, fainted. John scowled and returned the pokemon to its pokeball.

"Well at least its rare! Now if you'll excuse me squirt, there's been word that the Rattata have been seen in Ecruteak."

And with that, he turned on his heels and ran off. With John gone, Tim let his mouth spread in a grin as he high-fived his Raticate. Without trainers looking for rare pokemon, the pokemon no longer saw a need to hide as much as they once did. He had basically no competition and over the course of the Migration, caught many rare pokemon such as Dratini, Tauros, Alakazam, and even a Chansey!(Remember, they're very very rare in Kanto) His friend Bill had even told him he'd spot a couple of legendaries.

He returned his Scyther and let out his newly acquired Arcanine, hopping on its back with Raticate and dashing off towards Vermillion where he heard he could find Eevees.


	6. What's Wrong With Wurmples?

AN: Loads of fake science and speculation in this chapter, didn't know I had it in me o.o

* * *

Ch. 6: What's Wrong With Wurmples?

"-and so ends my lecture. Are there any questions?"

As always, everyone attending the presentation shot their hands up, hoping to catch the attention of the renowned Professor Dean. At the moment, he stood next to his demonstration with dull satisfaction on his face. His wire-framed glasses caught the light as he scanned the face of everyone with their hands up, looking for someone who would have something at least mildly intelligent to ask rather than the usual-

"Excuse me! Professor Dean, I was hoping we could hear more about your success with the Houndoom experiment?"

And there it was.

"I'm afraid I have something urgent I need to attend to, under any other circumstances, I would love to stick around and answer your questions, but I believe I've stayed here longer than I meant to. I apologize to you all."

He ignored the pleading protests of reporters, colleagues, and a couple of trainers, turned around and made his leave. It always annoyed him when people chose to dwell on his past success rather than at least pretend to be interested in his recent achievements.

Professor William Dean was a world famous professor who made it his goal to discover each and every mystery of the pokemon world. However, his greatest triumph was one that no one would ever let him forget. The great Houndoom experiment forever changed the world's view on Houndooms.

For a long time, it was believed if you were burned by a Houndoom's flames you would be cursed for the rest of your life. This superstition was supported by the burns people received from Houndoom attacks. Usually when you're burned, the scar remains but the pain fades away. This wasn't the case with Houndooms. There were many complaints towards doctors that the pain never left and usually remained until the scar's owner passed away.

Professor Dean, however, had another suspicion. It had always been curious to him that Houndours and Houndooms could learn Smog when they weren't Poison types. However, at the time Dean was a relatively unknown scientist. A dreamer that was ignored by the scientific community. His colleagues argued that this Smog debate was the same with Slugma and Magcargo, it was just another unexplained mystery, but Dean refused to accept this. He reasoned that Slugma and Magcargo could use Smog because the smoke from their flames were never properly disposed. In Magcargo's case, it built up in their shells while Slugmas just couldn't find an outlet.

Houndours and Houndooms had many different ways to dispose of their gasses, through their nostrils and in rare cases, their ears. Most of it, however, was disposed of whenever they were digesting, namely, when they passed gas. Slugmas and their evolutions had no sphincters to speak of and with this in mind, Professor Dean started the experiment.

First, he set out to catch a Houndoom, for the reported brun was usually more potent from a Houndoom burn rather than its preevolution. When this was done he found a common household plant and had his newly captured pokemon blast a Flamethrower just above the plant. The flames licked the very top of the plant and immediately smoldered out.

Satisfied, Dean returned the Houndoom and kept a close watch on the plant, glancing at the leaves under a microscope everyday. After three days, despite his careful tending, the plant wilted and died. He noted that the first day, there was nothing out of the ordinary. However, the next day, a mass of unknown pollutants traveled into the leaf. By the third day, the toxins had poisoned and killed the plant.

Dean was amazed, though this no doubt proved his theory was correct, he still needed more proof. Thus, he let out his Houndoom once more and X-rayed it, keeping the pictures in his science journal. After this was done, he studied the photos and discovered something amazing. Apparently, Houndooms had a small poison sac in its throat, just behind the skull on its neck. Whenever it used Smog, it accessed the sack in the throat and emitted the lethal smoke.

But, whenever the canine used its flames, which came from a pouch in its stomach, not unlike a furnace, the flames would travel upwards and out of the throat. Because of this, the fire would burn away the thin wall that separated Houndoom's toxic sac from its throat and carry the minute quantities of toxins into the flame. Whenever the flames came in contact with something, it would immediately take effect, killing small plants and pokemon. However, humans had relatively too much body mass, had too strong of an immune system, and the toxins were of too little quantity to do little more than cause mild, inconvenient pain.

This brought great joy to the public who were glad that something could finally be done about Houndooms. Doctors immediately went to work, studying until they found a way to surgically remove the toxic sac without harming the pokemon. Soon, domesticated Houndours and Houndooms everywhere had their sacs removed. Even some trainers had their pokemon go through the surgery, admitting that this was no great lost. After all, Poison type moves could only seriously harm Grass types and Houndours/Houndooms could already use Fire type attacks.

Dean was a hero and won many prizes. He continued researching great mysteries of the pokemon world, cracking them open one by one. The presentation he was just driving away from was a demonstration of why Magikarps could evolve whenever they were emotionally provoked. He had the charts, and the technology, even a Magikarp that had evolved into a ferocious Gyarados on stage, but no one paid it any attention. Even when he had his pokemon battle the Gyarados into submission, everyone was interested in only the Houndoom conundrum.

This did not discourage Dean at all, on the contrary, it only prompted him to keep on. He **would** discover something that would beat the Houndoom experiment. Something that would get his name back on the headlines, something enormous that the world would never see coming.

He already had something in mind.

* * *

"Wurmple!"

As it cried out, the red caterpillar shot out a fine silk thread from his mouth. The fine line wrapped around the Zigzagoon's front legs and the raccoon came falling down, its chin hitting the packed soil with a _thud_. Its legs sprawled out and it didn't move. Dean's face slightly twitched, hinting, somewhat, a satisfied smirk. Meanwhile, the Wurmple wiggled a little dance, the first half of its many legs waving in the air as if trying to absorb the sunlight shining on it. In a matter of moments, the Wurmple stopped dancing and started to thrash as if in pain some kind of intense pain.

It turned its head towards the sky and shot its silk thread into the sky like a fountain. It surrounded the Wurmple as its body started to bask in a white light. Professor Dean's face started to spread even more from a satisfied smirk to a triumphant grin. In moments, his theory would be proven correct. For right in front of him, that Wurmple was going to evolve into a,

"Cascoon."

"No!"

Rather than the white silk pupa Dean expected the Wurmple to transform into, it had instead turned into the toxic cocoon, Cascoon, the sixth that day. Dean was positively seething. His face was as red as a Wurmple's behind while his hands clutched into fists. He kicked the pokemon before he regained his composure and returned it, tossing its pokeball into the "Evolved" bin.

"Relax William," he said to himself. "Every good scientist knows that it takes time to achieve a successful experiment. It takes time..."

* * *

A flutter of wings flapped behind his ear and his head shot up from the desk. He looked around wildly with bloodshot eyes, pulling at his wild and rapidly graying hair. When he spotted the culprit, he snarled and swept all the materials from his desk. He pointed a gnarled finger at the creature.

"Didn't I tell you not to disturb me while I'm working!" he barked, showing his jagged yellow teeth. The Beautifly that had just evolved from its previous stage halted in mid-air, looking a bit curious at the scientist.

"Beau?"

The man glared at him before turning back to his desk, picking up a Wurmple that was inching by. He pulled out a protractor and a scientific calculator and started to work equations into his head.

"It is possible that eroded evolution stones wash down the Wurmple's water supply. They take in the eroded stones, and over time evolve accordingly. This is possibly why none of the evolution stones have worked on a Wurmple."

He immediately frowned when he realized he had already tried this method and slammed his fists on the table. He looked around in disdain at the shed that was rapidly filling its maximum occupancy. In every corner, there were Beautiflies, Dustox, Cascoons, Silcoons, or Wurmples. As the days went by, he started to lose his sense of time. He knew he had started in February, and wasn't it December when he tried training a Wurmple in Mt. Coronet while holding a Dawn Stone at night? He no longer knew, he was just aware of the many voices that spoke to him and shouted at him in his head. Getting louder day after day, and Professor Dean knew it must be because he was going mad...

* * *

Dustox grinned at the Professor from the shadows of the shed. A place where he could watch the show in peace without alarming the mad scientist. This Dustox happened to be the one Dean had kicked about a year ago and he enjoyed watching the man suffer. The moth turned its head as a Beautifly landed next to it staring curiously at the professor.

After a few moments of sitting in silence, the Beautifly spoke up,

(Don't you think we should tell him we evolve into whatever we want to evolve into?)

The Dustox's malevolent grin spread wider and he shook his head.

(Naw, he's having fun.)

Dustox fluttered its wings, causing a round white stone to roll from the shelf and clatter on the ground.

(Hey Professor! Have you tried an Oval Stone?)


	7. Where Art Thou Shuckle?

A/N: Welp, back in the saddle. While I was gone I came up with many new ideas, mostly thanks to playing Heartgold. For those of you who might have missed the update, I can no longer take requests. I got a warning and if my stories get deleted, I definitely will quit. I have them backed up on my comp just in case it happens, but sometimes I post chapters up and forget to save them to my comp, so if they get deleted, I'll lose the will to write them. Maybe some new stories, but not the ones I've been working on.

PS. This story isn't exactly accurate because you can't really do it until after you beat the Cianwood Gym

* * *

Ch. 7: Where Art Thou Shuckle?

Gold stumbled on the beach as the Politoed he was clinging to hit land. His face was about as green as the pokemon's wet skin, but, after all, he had been holding on to a Pokemon who barely reached his chest past the Whirl Islands. After he returned the Frog Pokemon and coughed up his lunch, the boy felt a little better and he observed his surroundings.

"Ah," he marveled. "Cianwood City, now I can get my fifth badge!"

He shook his cramped arms and turned towards the Pokemon Center when suddenly a flash of red and black rushed by him, turning a corner and disappearing into the cave.

"What the-?" he started to ask before something knocked him sprawling into the ground. The boy reached over and snatched his gold and black hat off the ground staring at the figure running off. Hotheaded as always, he reached for a pokeball with a snarl.

"Explotaro, go!"

With a loud pop and a flash of white light, a slim weasel with flames on its tail and neck popped out.

"Explotaro, Tackle!"

As swift as always, the Quilava dashed towards the retreating figure and slammed into the back of their legs, causing the poor soul to fall flat on their face. Gold returned the Volcano Pokemon and pounced on the person the pokemon downed. He flipped them over and discovered it was a meek looking man with spectacles on the end of his nose. His mousy brown hair was covering half of his face, but enough was revealed to show he was crying.

"I-I-I'm s-s-sorry!" he wailed, trying to cover his face with his hands.

Gold sighed, this desperate pathetic man obviously knocked him over by accident. He stood up and extended a hand to help him up which the man accepted gratefully.

"No problem, just try and be more careful."

Before Gold could register what was going on, the man suddenly collapsed to his knees and buried his face into his hands.

"I d-do-don't kn-kn-know what I-I-I'm going t-t-to do!"

Gold sighed, and grabbed the man's shoulders.

"Calm down and tell me what's going on."

After taking a few deep breaths, the man continued speaking, to Gold's relief, without his stammer.

"I was at home minding my own business when this rude red-headed boy burst in and ran off with my Sneasel!"

Gold scowled, sitting up and looking towards the direction the man was running.

"Silver." he spat with disdain.

The man looked up, tilting his head with mild curiosity?

"You _know_ him?"

"We've met."

The man suddenly shivered, fresh tears falling down his cheeks.

"What if he comes back and takes my other rare Pokemon?"

Gold shrugged, standing up and turning towards the gym.

"Listen, I'm sorry about what Silver did to you, but I really should get-"

Suddenly, the man's eyes lit up and he looked at Gold with newfound hope.

"Wait, you're a strong trainer! Maybe you can help me!"

He suddenly dug into his pockets and pulled out a pokeball, thrusting it into Gold's hands.

"Can you keep my Pokemon safe? Just until I'm sure that hooligan won't come back to get it!"

Gold stared at the man wide-eyed, the whole time trying to protest. But when the man handed him the pokeball, he looked down at the sphere then back at the pleading human being with a thoughtful look on his face.

"Wait a minute... So what you're saying is you want **me**, a complete stranger who attacked you with a Quilava, to watch your most prized possession?"

The mousy man nodded with an oblivious look in his eyes as if he didn't comprehend what Gold was getting at, but Gold just grinned in response.

"Of course I'll watch it for you! No problem at all!"

He grinned at the fellow who beamed at him in response.

"Thank you! Oh thank you! Just return it to me in the next couple of days, that way we'll know for sure he's gone."

The man was so happy he turned around and ran back to his house without another word. After the man went in, Gold tossed the pokeball in front of him, mildly surprised to find a turtle, that resembled a rock with holes all over its shell.

"Ah I've heard of you! You're a Shuckle! That pokemon that makes berry juice!"

The Shuckle looked up at him with a curious look on its face while Gold started to sort through his devious thoughts.

"Should I?... I shouldn't... But then again, he practically **_gave_** me his Shuckle."

Gold shrugged and returned the pokemon to its pokeball and turned towards the pokemon center.

* * *

Meanwhile in New Bark Town, Gold's mother was preparing dinner for herself when she noticed something in the transporter.

"Oh! Gold must have sent more money to save!"

She hurried over to the transporter only to find, not Pokes, but a pokeball and a note which read:

_Dear Mom,_

_I will no longer send any more money to you to save for me. I appreciate the gesture, but I'm tired of you buying crap I don't need with **My** money! I mean seriously, why the heck would you spend money on a berry when I can just **walk** by and pick one off of a tree? Anyway, to show my "gratitude", I sent you a new blender!_

_Love, Gold  
_


	8. Metronome, Why Have You Forsaken Me?

A/N: Hey everybody, in case you missed it, I am unable to take ANY more requests. However, if you've sent me a request for the story already, I can put it in the fanfic as long as you're ok with not getting any credit ._. But I could never ask anybody to do that. However, if you don't care, send me a message in my inbox that gives me your permission.

But anyways, I know this is late, but the point of the Rattata story was the fact that Rattata, Sentret, Zigzagoon, and Bidoof are so incredibly pointless to me. They're mainly for an easy addition to your team and to introduce Pokemon catching when you first start the game, but most people _I_ know, just move on and leave them alone. So one day I thought... Hmmm... In a way, they're all rare. Since nobody really has them, or their evolutions, in their uber strong Garchomp/Tyranitar/Salamence party, it's rare to actually find them on somebody's team. Hence the Rattata story was born :P

Anyways, the inspiration from this story actually happened to me in Heartgold, and it reeeaally pissed me off! Hope you enjoy :P

P.S. For this chapter, I'm naming the character after my character in-game and I've decided to make all the characters in my stories named after the Pokemon Adventures characters or my in-game character, because coming up with names is reeeeaally wearing me down. When it comes to names I am not creative at all. When I have a kid, if it's my choice, it might be named Bob.

P.S.S. This was my actual team at that point in the game.

* * *

Ch. 8: Metronome, Why Have You Forsaken Me?

Bryce clenched the fist that wasn't holding his egg as the pokeball he just hurled wiggled, once, twice, then finally a third time before it stopped and the button in the middle blinked red and the sphere stood still. The boy tugged his hat down and grinned before thrusting his fist in the air in victory.

"Yes! I finally caught one!"

He leaned over and patted his Flaaffy on the head, getting a small static shock due to her ability. Bryce sucked on his finger as the sheep giggled at his misfortune.

"Oh yeah, that tends to stay in effect shortly after battle..."

He picked up the ball and grinned, despite the throbbing pain in his finger.

"Ah well, at least I've got you. I've been after you for a while."

He held out the ball with his free hand and let out his recently caught Pokemon. The ball's white flash shot out taking the form of a small dog.

"Grooooowl!"

The Growlithe howled, sitting on its haunches before looking between the two of them a bit confused. Bryce leaned over and patted the canine on its head, reveling in its warmth.

"Welcome to the team Growlithe!"

Bryce reached for the only occupied ball on his belt and released his third(technically fourth) Pokemon to meet the new addition.

"Bay!"

The affectionate grass type bounded out and rubbed her head against Growlithe's and the pup happily returned her affections with a lick on the neck. Bryce stood behind the three.

"This is Bayleef and Flaaffy."

The two Pokemon called their names greeting the fire type before Bryce laid his egg down by them.

"And this... Well, I don't know who this is."

Despite this, the Growlithe put a paw on the egg to greet the inaminate object anyway, and to the group's suprise, the egg started to shake. Growlithe jumped back as the egg shook from side to side, pieces from the top of its shell chipping off as the Pokemon inside struggled to greet the outside world. Bryce picked up the egg and looked at it in awe.

"It's hatching," Bryce said as white points poked out from the top of the egg and two white stubs shot out from the sides. Two black eyes blinked rapidly, its stubby arms reached up and rubbed its eyes as if waking from a long sleep. It looked Bryce in the eye and chirped happily.

"It seems we have another new teammate!"

* * *

Growlithe crouched down, flexing his haunches as he stared at the Raichu in front of him. He couldn't stand the smug grin on the rodent's face, but in a way, it deserved to gloat. It was really giving the hound a run for his money. Growlithe was panting heavily while the Pokefan's Raichu still stood confidently, towering over him with its paws on its hips as if the battle wasn't much to be reckoned with. Bryce noticed how badly the battle was going as well, frowning at the Raichu's trainer, whose confidence seemed to exude his Pokemon's. Togepi, however, seemed immune to everything that was going on and just chirped happily in his trainer's arms.

Bryce sighed, took a deep breath and pointed towards the electric mouse.

"Growlithe, use Flame Wheel!"

The hound's ears twitched as he heard his trainer's commands. He leaped into action, bounding towards the Raichu with a mouthful of flames. He tumbled forward into a cartwheel, surrounding its body with flames as the Flame Wheel spun towards the smug Raichu.

"Raichu, dodge and use Quick Attack!"

The Raichu showed a toothy grin and fell on all fours, hopping just a bit to the left, letting the Flame Wheel pass by, so close that Bryce thought it would hit its tail. As the flaming tire passed by, Raichu leaped quickly towards Growlithe, hitting the Flame Wheel directly in its side knocking the canine out of its own attack. Growlithe fell on his side, the bruise on his stomach revealing where the Quick Attack hit him.

"Growlithe! Can you still battle?"

Growlithe panted heavily, turning over so he was laying on his paws. Then slowly, he started to stand up, staggered for a moment as if he would fall, then nodded towards Bryce.

Bryce winced, this battle was absolutely brutal. In the beginning, Growlithe had managed to land a couple of hits, and it seemed like victory would be theirs, but a well-timed Thunderbolt completely destroyed their momentum, turning the battle in the mouse's favor. The brawl had become so one-sided, Bryce was tempted to return Togepi to its pokeball. A battle like this could traumatize it for life, but to his surprise, it was still chirping happily and waving its hands back and forth, back and forth, back and-

"Hey kid! I hate to tell you this, but maybe your dear Growlithe's had enough. As a Pokefan, I care for every Pokemon's well-being and my precious Raichu is wiping yours into the dirt!"

The cheery carefree way the Pokefan said all of this seemed to rub Bryce the wrong way, he glared at the trainer.

"I'll say when we've had enough!"

Bryce suddenly thrust his hand into his pocket, just remembering an item he got in Azalea Town for helping a couple of people catch their Farfetch'd. The long object started to crumble in his pocket, though he knew its mysterious properties would restore the bits it lost.

"Growlithe, catch!"

Bryce hurled the Charcoal towards the canine who warily looked up and caught the item between its teeth. He blinked and cocked his head at his trainer, a little confused about what he expected him to do.

"Just trust me. Now Growlithe, Flame Wheel, and keep that in your mouth!"

Growlithe nodded, glancing at his trainer a bit doubtfully. Somehow, he managed to find the energy to trot towards the Raichu. Once again, he filled his mouth with flames necessary for the attack and to his, the Pokefan's, and the Raichu's surprise, the flames practically exploded in his mouth once it made contact with the combustible fuel. Once he recovered from the surprise, Growlithe somersaulted towards Raichu, surrounding its body with the flames, creating a Flame Wheel two times the original size. Bryce grinned and looked down at Togepi to see if it was watching their triumphant comeback, but to his surprise, though it was still happily chirping, it was waving its hands back and forth, and back and forth. It was going so fast that the tips of its hands turned blue. Back and forth, and back and forth-

"Try all you li-ike! But my precious Raichu is still faster than your Growlithe! Now, Raichu, dodge that Flame Wheel and finish this with Thunderbolt!" The Pokefan called in his singsong accent.

Raichu crouched on all fours, an intense look in its eyes that obviously meant it intended to end the battle in one fell swoop, but Bryce was barely paying attention. Togepi's little hands were blurs now, just small trails of blue until finally, it pointed at Raichu with both hands and with a flash, the blue light disappeared. Bryce looked up and to his surprise, Raichu was surrounded by the same dim blue light, its body frozen in place. Its face, however, was full of terror, its eyes shifting rapidly back and forth as if trying to command its body to move with no avail. Growlithe's Flame Wheel slammed into Raichu face-first, and with no way to block, dodge, or even brace itself, the electric mouse went flying into the tall grass, still in its dodging pose, before it hit the ground. The dim blue light around its body disappeared, and Raichu's body slumped over, defeated.

* * *

Togepi chirped happily, looking up in the sky and skipping about in the flower garden that outlined the National Park, reaching for the Butterfree that fluttered over the flowers with its small stubby arms. Sitting on a bench watching it was Bryce sitting cross-legged with his chin in his hand. On the ground in front of him was Bayleef, Flaaffy, and Growlithe, all staring at Togepi with thoughtful expressions. The four pairs of eyes followed the young Pokemon as it skipped about, following the bugs as the flew from flower to flower. Finally, Bryce cleared his throat and the three older Pokemon looked up at him.

"Now, from what Growlithe and I have seen, it looked like Togepi used Disable."

Bayleef and Flaaffy nodded, but Growlithe let out a small yip and nodded its head towards the tree by the National Park exit. Bryce looked over, saw the charred remains of the tree and frowned. He told Togepi to do what it did during the Raichu/Growlithe battle, and though it waved its arms, a large human-shaped jet of flames emerged from its hands and obliterated the tree. He knew immediately that it was Fire Blast.

"Well, I guess it's not Disable after all..."

The quad went back to watching Togepi play, mulling over their thoughts. After five minutes, Bayleef's head suddenly perked up, she nudged her head against Bryce's leg.

"Bay!"

Bryce pushed Bayleef's head away,

"Not now Bayleef, I don't want to play."

Bayleef frowned and pushed more insistently against Bryce's leg.

"Bay!"

"Bayleef, not now!"

"Bay! Bayleef!"

Bayleef shoved hard against Bryce's leg and finally, a small red rectangular device fell out of his pocket. Bayleef walked over to it and held it up to her trainer with an annoyed look on her face.

"My pokedex!... Ohhh, you meant that you wanted me to-"

Bayleef huffed and turned her back to Bryce who shrugged and scanned Togepi.

"Ok, lets see, Togepi knows Growl, Charm, Extrasensory, and Metronome... Growl and Charm are basic moves, and I've seen a Noctowl use Extrasensory... But what's Metronome?"

Bryce typed the move into his pokedex.

**_Metronome, an attack that randomly selects a _move and fully executes the attack.**

Bryce blinked,

"It can reproduce _any_ attack?"

The pokedex blinked, picking up Bryce's voice.

**Metronome can not reproduce the following attacks: Assist, Chatter, Copycat, Counter, Covet, Destiny Bond, Detect, Endure, Fei-**

Bryce pressed a button on the Pokedex, putting it in sleep mode.

"Yeah, yeah, I don't need to know all that."

Bryce looked over at Togepi who had somehow made its way over to the fountain and was leaning over the stone edge to look at its reflection.

"Hmmm... If Togepi's learned a new attack, maybe it's time to train it."

* * *

Bryce pumped his fist happily. By his side was Bayleef, Flaaffy, and Growlithe who all stared at Togepi in awe. Togepi was dancing around, the usual scene, but rather unusually was what was in front of it. A worn-out wild Caterpie who was wet from Hydro Pump, bruised from Focus Punch, and motionless due to the Spikes surrounding it. Ever since Bryce discovered Togepi's new attack, he had been using it like crazy, knocking out Pokemon after Pokemon, and now they were about to finish off a last one before they would leave National Park to Ecruteak.

"Now Togepi, use Metro-"

"Wait!"

Bryce started, turning around to find a girl and her Persian running towards him.

"Your Togepi's incredible! I've been watching you two all day and that move, Metronome, is astounding!"

Bryce grinned, but the girl wasn't finished yet.

"I'd like it to have this!"

The girl reached out and handed Bryce a smooth white claw.

"It's a Quick Claw, it allows the user to move faster than its opponent every now and again."

He nodded and walked over to Togepi, handing it to the the Pokemon.

"Here Togepi," Togepi took it gratefully and Bryce took his original position behind it. "Now use Metronome!"

Togepi gripped the claw tightly in one hand, and started waving both back and forth and back and forth. Bryce started to notice that its arms were moving faster than usual and with a smile, he realized it was because of the Quick Claw. In no time at all, its arms were blue blurs. Bryce nudged the girl next to him.

"Watch this," he said with a wink as Togepi's hands flashed. But to his surprise, it didn't point at Caterpie, and no attack came out. Instead, Togepi leaned, reared back the Quick Claw, and threw it at Caterpie. The bug Pokemon's eyes widened as the item bonked it on the head and flew off somewhere in the grass. Bryce stared wide-eyed, mouth agape. He looked at Togepi, then at Caterpie, then to the girl, while opening and closing his mouth as if trying to form the words to express how he felt.

"How-? Why-? What the-?"

The girl looked just as equally dismayed, bouncing up and down from leg to leg.

"That was Fling! Togepi used my valuable Quick Claw as an attack! We have to get it!"

Caterpie, who seemed to realize just how important the item was, looked at Togepi, then at Bryce. It gave them a "screw this" look and shot a String Shot somewhere into the grass, somehow snagging the Quick Claw, and with the new-found speed boost, avoided the Spikes and dashed off.

"C'mon, we have to get it!" the girl insisted urgently, and immediately, the girl, Bryce, and all of his Pokemon ran off to catch the Caterpie. Well, all of his Pokemon except one.

"Toge?"

* * *

AN: Well, I hope you liked this one. Please review and tell me what you think!


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